Is it okay to say that I am truly a screwed up individual? Needless to say, God is taking me back through some intense moments of pain in my life. I would love to be honest. I have a heart that is greatly hindered from receiving God’s and other’s love. I don’t know where all the wounds and defenses are, but I desire wholeness. I desire to feel His love for me fully. Unhindered. Now how to get to that point will have to be a huge move of God. I have so many walls up guarding my heart from giving and receiving true love. Jesus, I come before You a beggar. Unable to give You anything. Body low, head down, hands lifted and empty, stomach lacking, heart longing, strength drained, and destitute. I am beyond poor Jesus. I have nothing. No knowledge, no love, full of empty works and phrases that hold no weight in my life. Hungry but scared. Longing but timid. Jesus I have nothing to offer perfection. I have no way. I don’t know how to get to wholeness. Except by pleading with You for scraps. I “know” that You are the only One who can save and heal me. So please Father meet me at my weak words and fill my needs. Help me. Lower my walls. Breakthrough my weak defenses. Give me insight into my pains and defenses, dismantle me. I want, no I need to feel Your love in my life. To have full assurance about how You feel about me. Holy Spirit, Jesus, Father…help Your son. Help me become whole. Guide my feet to the path of healing. I desire to be carried into Your presence. For with You is fullness and life. Please lead me there. I don’t care how long it takes. Just bring me there. Help me receive Your love. I can not do this…
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