Prayer Room #8 - Desire

So today I had a pretty intense experience.  God opened up a lot of wounds two days ago so today I cried out for healing.  That God would meet me at my open and fresh wounds and bring healing.  I didn’t want anymore crutches in this walk.  So I started reading in Acts 6 and 7 about Stephen.  My spirit was so drawn to His story.  I burned with a desire to know God in such an intimate and close way that my face would shine.  While reading it I stood up and started praying hard that God would remove all my past baggage and wounds.  That He would open up any hidden wounds so that healing could come. While I was praying that prayer to Him I heard the internal audible voice of the Holy Spirit tell me to go open up Song of Songs and that He would give me the verse I needed to meditate on.  I knew He would highlight it.  It stuck out so powerfully!  “Draw me after You, let us run…” Song of Songs 1:4  My spirit jumped inside me.  This was what my entirety desired, to run with my lover.  To be drawn away into His heart and beauty and to RUN!  I stood again and started praying this verse over and over again.  While I was doing it He showed me an image of me trying to run with chains and weights behind me.  I was running hard towards where He was, but I was moving slow.  I cried out for God to release me so I could run!  Then He spoke to me and told me that I have been running passionately after Him against these weights and chains.  That He desired to heal me but was turning my struggle into my benefit.  While I ran with the weights I was strengthening myself (with a growing hunger and desire) so that when He gave me freedom I would run so much harder, faster, and longer with Him.  I set the pace of this journey.  I want to run!  I know it is a marathon and a battle but I will not slow up or give anything less than my all to this race.  I want to run with Jesus swiftly with the long run in focus.  Giving my all everyday so I may fall exhausted at His feet every night tired, weary, spent.  Knowing that I gave my all.  Please teach me Lord!  Help Me!  I am a weak man.  Teach me to run after you!  I am but a child.  Teach me to run!  Loose the weights that bind me so I may reach You, grab Your hand, and rush with You into the knowledge of who You are.  Teach me!  I love You Abba!  My Father, my Lover, my Running mate, my Deliverer.  I love You!  Help me love You.  Teach me to love You more.